Friend???

whom to trust?? a friend??? well till date i did think so...consider the gender ?? ofcourse not...expressions/ur emotions don't see whether ur friend is a boy or a girl ..its blind..but is it soo blind??

Recently i have come on that stage of dilemma.. I had this friend of mine..a guy ..its pretty obvious..given the ratio at my college ...but does he take it in the same way?? we used to work together for nearly the whole day ..discuss both official and personal matters..never ever i felt any difference between my female friends that i was used to in my past and him..i had other male acquaintances too..n it was the same with all..i was a friend n just a friend to all of them....i always felt this pride within me..that GOD has given one good thing to me..without being asked for..n tht was my friend circle. I am always very much comfortable with them. Many of my guy friends are slightly coquettish by nature but ..i had made them clear their limits. Many of my friends started leaving due to their professional interests then the time came for this friend of mine. He was soo good to me at times.. ..we chatted for long hours on philosophies on our past lives , our work and nearly everything was covered over a cup of coffee or some lavish dinner .t we enjoyed all those lively moments ...emotions flowed like an overflowing
river..i lost control i guess..i did trust him...i never ever had it in the back of my mind that he was a guy n i am a girl...that difference was erased ...erased from my mind...i sound regretful right?? i am actually. He was or at least seemed to be very particular about manners ..n i really like well mannered boys.

Then one day few days before his leaving i get to see some of his previous conversation regarding me with a frnd of his...n i came upon a word ....they addressed me as..n i knew not the meaning ...i inquired..n it turned out to be some local slang used in a dirty sense...i just couldn't believe my eyes..i expected the whole page to turn white again..n make it a bad dream for me...but no ..it was there ..written ..very clearly ...like a rock in the raucous ocean..which refuses to bow to it. ...i can't express in words wht i felt...can someone be soo ruthless??? or maybe i was being too easy for this nasty world...are all guys the same??? should a girl never be friends to a guy? u think i was thinking all tht ?? i wasn't ...i was feeling like a dead sheet of paper being blown away by the mad wind ....under the torrent rain..n finally being torn into pieces n may many pieces...loosing its existence.

When someone breaks ur trust ..u don't feel bad for urself ..but u feel more bad abt urself,..coz it was ur WRONG decision on trusting that person..how can u be sure of yourself any more??

i was broken.. a friend ... such a good friend..n behind ..i dunno what he was....
my life...better being ..without friends than being with some like this...if a person can't respect u ..doesn't deserve the love of a friend.From experiences we learn..i learned..but how many times ..will i face this fate ..i dunno...let the wheel of my life turn again..lets see what next?

Recently , I have come to know that perception differs very widely amongst people..... sometimes throws you off the key ...all shocked and amazed..

This kind of an experience happened to me when i posted my snap on one of those so called friendship websites. Happiness knew no bounds while I was posing for the snaps in front of a lavish camera ..felt like those professional models.When I saw those pictures..felt pleasantly surprised !!..did I really look so nice and gaiety filled? well never the less wanted to share it with friends..so thought of posting on "that" site. and lo..that deluge of requests deluge of messages..how me?..without any formal management course..was going to MANAGE THAT?? anyways..then got this notion that someone was craving ....what kind i dunno :p ..so i removed the snap ASAP..now this guys tells me..that I am being over confidant etc etc.. "perception"!!..I thought the snap portrayed a simple sweet girl..where from all these complicated adjectives evolved from?? irony!!! smirking..i resolved never to have a wrong notion that people think on the same lines as u. Was I being too innocent?? too simple? Life is simple!! for those who believe it is !

Miss the old college days!

Life? ..i am puzzled..dunno how to crack the puzzle...
Today after so many days ..i spoke to my coll friends..giggling laughing..sharing..sympathizing....cursing our work places..everything..felt as if life rolled back into the same old college days ...
The charm that those days carried..will never be back..i miss all my college friends..we were a huge group of closely tied friends...we had conspired ...rejoiced ..helped..even the deadliest of our enemies
Today when i feel alone..I wanna go and feel the warmth of my frnd's lap..listen to her encouraging, (seeminlgy) mature speeches...n feel as if the world has stopped....stopped with respect to the flow of rush . ya rush ..everyone is rushing..for success ...for money and all other selfish motives. Don't we want to get off them for a while?
The innocence of their words ..jokes being cracked at the most serious of moments..i miss all..
Thanks to the cracky mobile..atleast ..i have something to lean on to.
MISS U ALL.