Friend???

whom to trust?? a friend??? well till date i did think so...consider the gender ?? ofcourse not...expressions/ur emotions don't see whether ur friend is a boy or a girl ..its blind..but is it soo blind??

Recently i have come on that stage of dilemma.. I had this friend of mine..a guy ..its pretty obvious..given the ratio at my college ...but does he take it in the same way?? we used to work together for nearly the whole day ..discuss both official and personal matters..never ever i felt any difference between my female friends that i was used to in my past and him..i had other male acquaintances too..n it was the same with all..i was a friend n just a friend to all of them....i always felt this pride within me..that GOD has given one good thing to me..without being asked for..n tht was my friend circle. I am always very much comfortable with them. Many of my guy friends are slightly coquettish by nature but ..i had made them clear their limits. Many of my friends started leaving due to their professional interests then the time came for this friend of mine. He was soo good to me at times.. ..we chatted for long hours on philosophies on our past lives , our work and nearly everything was covered over a cup of coffee or some lavish dinner .t we enjoyed all those lively moments ...emotions flowed like an overflowing
river..i lost control i guess..i did trust him...i never ever had it in the back of my mind that he was a guy n i am a girl...that difference was erased ...erased from my mind...i sound regretful right?? i am actually. He was or at least seemed to be very particular about manners ..n i really like well mannered boys.

Then one day few days before his leaving i get to see some of his previous conversation regarding me with a frnd of his...n i came upon a word ....they addressed me as..n i knew not the meaning ...i inquired..n it turned out to be some local slang used in a dirty sense...i just couldn't believe my eyes..i expected the whole page to turn white again..n make it a bad dream for me...but no ..it was there ..written ..very clearly ...like a rock in the raucous ocean..which refuses to bow to it. ...i can't express in words wht i felt...can someone be soo ruthless??? or maybe i was being too easy for this nasty world...are all guys the same??? should a girl never be friends to a guy? u think i was thinking all tht ?? i wasn't ...i was feeling like a dead sheet of paper being blown away by the mad wind ....under the torrent rain..n finally being torn into pieces n may many pieces...loosing its existence.

When someone breaks ur trust ..u don't feel bad for urself ..but u feel more bad abt urself,..coz it was ur WRONG decision on trusting that person..how can u be sure of yourself any more??

i was broken.. a friend ... such a good friend..n behind ..i dunno what he was....
my life...better being ..without friends than being with some like this...if a person can't respect u ..doesn't deserve the love of a friend.From experiences we learn..i learned..but how many times ..will i face this fate ..i dunno...let the wheel of my life turn again..lets see what next?